I Don't Give A HOOT!

Ok, so last night I'm in the middle of dreaming about my Beneful and pooping on sticks, when I heard something that woke me up. It sounded like this, "Hoooooooot, Hoot, Hoot, Hoooooooot!" I was like "Shut Up!" It is hard work to be such a beautiful Basset. I need plenty of sleep. Anything less than 23 hours a day and I'm a bear the next day.

I tried looking out of the window to see what was making all the noise. It was a friggin' tree basset. It looked kind of like this:

Next time that a-hole wakes me up, it will be a little like this:

I swear to christ if that f#$%ing tree basset wakes me up one more time, I will shank him.

Anyways, aside from that, life is good. I chased Rufus today and I have crapped about 4 times and it is only 1:15ish.

Peace,

Baxter

Nemisis # 242

The toothbrush.

Really Mom? Really? Was it truly necessary to attack me with the toothbrush and awful minty-fresh paste? I was working so hard on that nice garbage aroma that exuded from my mouth. And now - it's barely noticeable. How depressing. All that hard work...

I mean, it's not like she doesn't know how much I hate the toothbrush. I back away, slapping my gums in disgust. I swear, if that stupid thing wasn't stored so high up out of my reach, I'd destroy him and his minty-fresh taste.