O Christmas Ham

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

How ever salty are you?

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You make me drool when you're around

I hope that you fall on the ground

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

How ever tasty are you?

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

How ever awesome are thee

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You smell so good when you're around

You are a great sight to see

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

How ever glazed are thee

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You make the house smell so Hammy

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You taste like you'll stick to my ribs

I so glad I don't wear a bib

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You are so ever tasty are thee

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

You taste so good in my belly

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham

Your glaze is sweet

How tasty is your meat

O Christmas Ham, O Christmas Ham
I hope Santa brings you to me

Have you ever noticed...

That my name fits perfectly in the Mickey Mouse Theme?

B-A-X-T-E-R.....H-O-U-N-D!
Baxter Hound!

Yup, it works. And it's way better than Mickey Mouse. What does a stupid mouse need a theme song for? That's just stupid.

I licked a tub (and I liked it)

...the taste of that shower curtain
I licked a tub just to try it
I hope my parents don't mind it
It felt so cold
It felt so white
Don't mean I'm clean tonight
I licked a tub and I liked it
I liked it

That's right, I licked the tub - and I liked it. In case you couldn't tell (sometimes dad needs the jokes explained to him) - this is to the melody of "I kissed a girl." But that's a stupid song. Who would want to kiss a girl? Licking a tub is much more fun. It's how I get some of my daily water intake.

Every time my parents are showering, I make sure to stand guard and drink the water droplets either from the raining room itself, the plastic thing, or the bath. They all work about the same, but the rain itself leaves water droplets on my dome. And then the water gets in my eyes - makes me all squinty.

So yea, I licked a tub. What of it?

PS - Stay tuned for more of my awesome musical genius.